christmas in november

I started listening to Christmas music earlier this year, in hopes of preventing Christmas Day disappointments.

I hope I am not the only one who has experienced what I am referencing. That feeling of emptiness after four advent weeks of expectation. The gifts are opened, the cookies are almost gone (unless you are at Grandma Carol's), and the needles are falling of the tree. Inevitably, I write a Christmas journal about the sadness I feel.

I don't mean a shallow sadness, it runs deep and almost aches.

It isn't the presents. I like giving them away. It isn't the cookies. I am allergic to them. It isn't the trees, they are evergreen all year long... just not inside my home.

It's the Light... it's Jesus.

Something about December, and the focus on the Savior always makes you feel closer to Him. It is easier to believe that Peace came to earth when we see His people at peace with each other.

I wish I was at the manger, stroking the head of the Savior of the world. My desire for a touch from God resurfaces in December... my Thomas heart leaps at the sight of Nativity scenes and Light, bright Light.

Do visible manifestations of God coming to earth make you feel His nearness, the God who is there?

I long to be near Jesus in December, and the 25th always reminds me of this frail body that still keeps me from eternal communion with Him... the One who came to redeem this mortal flesh.

Each passing day reminds me how desperately I need Jesus, and how much I want to serve Him until He calls me home.

Even if it makes me sad, I am eagerly expecting Christmas. Sometimes, sadness is good. It reminds us of the One who wipes away tears, and sent His Son so that all weeping may one day cease.

why does God allow the bad bounce?

The last couple weeks have been trying ones for my soccer team. We lost two playoff games in two separate tournaments... one for NAIA and one for NCCAA. We are a currently waiting to see if we get an at large bid for NCCAA, it's a complicated system... if you want to ask later, I'll fill you in.

After our first loss the team was struggling, questioning why it had to happen. My coach asked that if any of us had thoughts about the game that we would write them out and share them. I sent out this email to the team, and it was requested that I share it on my blog. So, pardon any soccer jargon, I wrote it to my teammates.

Why does God allow the bad bounce?

I know a lot of us have struggled with the “Why does God allow teams like ours to lose and teams like St. Xavier win?” We have all the pieces… we love God, He blessed us with soccer skills, and we love this team. The energy we get from being together is magical, and so far we have been blessed with success…. why did God stop blessing us just short of NAIA?

First off, God doesn’t usually bless His children in the most chronological, understandable way. He often withholds blessing for many years, and sometimes doesn’t bless His children in their lifetime on earth, sometimes He blesses the descendants with the fulfillment of His promises.

Do you all remember the story of Abraham? God spoke to Abraham and told him he would give him a son, and that his descendants would be like the stars in the sky. Problem was Abraham and his wife were old, and Sarah had probably gone through menopause a couple decades earlier. Abraham believed God, and God gave him a son…twenty-five years after the first time God told him he would make him a great nation! Talk about patience.

Other characters in the Old Testament also show us how waiting for the blessing isn’t easy either. Joseph was a slave in Egypt and thrown in jail even though he was innocent. The Israelites were slaves in Egypt 300 hundred years. Paul was beaten and thrown in jail for spreading the gospel.

God loved Joseph, the Israelites, Paul, and Abraham very deeply. And He redeemed them by sending His Son Jesus to die for them…. in Paul’s lifetime, but centuries after many of them had passed away.

So, what I am getting at is this… God loves you, and He loves this team. And I believe He is not finished with us yet. I want you all to remember that being a “deserving” Christian doesn’t mean that the story book gets written the way we wish it would. Sure, I wanted to go to NAIA… I know all of you wanted to. It seemed like the next step for our team, but it is step that will be taken another season by another team.

I have never learned the greatest lessons of my life through my greatest victories. Most of the important things I have learned have been through suffering and painful experiences that I would have escaped if given the option. But looking back, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

I can’t promise you that we will experience success this coming weekend, or in any of the upcoming games our team may be given. We may experience triumph, and we may struggle. What I can promise you is that God is still faithful, and He loves us. Do you believe that? Let that truth sink into the deepest parts of your soul. God loves you, and His plan for you is greater than you can imagine, win or lose.

We have a little time left together as the 2008 Trinity Women’s soccer team. Let’s practice and play for His glory. Run with your hearts girls… bring your Heavenly Father pleasure with your sacrifice.

I love you!
Abby

peace in the midst of bruises

I can hardly stay awake. My legs ache like never before... well, maybe a few times before. I feel like a bruised bag of bones. Yet, I am incredibly satisfied.

I woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. happy. For those who know me, this is an anomaly. I usually take about an hour to wake and find my smile in the morning. But today, life was good. I was glad to be alive.

My team played in the conference tournament semi-final match today, and won after double-overtime and penalty kicks. A bit of a nail-biter, but awesome. My dad said he was having heart attacks listening to our game on the internet.

I was excited to play this game today, and the nerves set in later than usual. This is it. I am a senior. My dad said I am full of sports clichés these days, and he is probably right. My team has to take it one game at a time. In 90 minutes, it could all be over.

I wasn't sure why I was so happy this morning... usually my stomach is tied in knots from the moment my alarm goes off. Today, I experienced a peace that passed my understanding.

I know where this peace came from, it came from the Prince of Peace. Everyday I spend away from His feet, I realize how desperately I need Him.

"... and the Peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:7

Many things tried to steal my peace today... a psychology test, bad passes in the game, or cheap fouls. And even though I may have stumbled, God is still kept me in His hands, and His peace covered me.

Heavenly Father, please help me rest in You, and help others find their peace in You as well.