christmas in november

I started listening to Christmas music earlier this year, in hopes of preventing Christmas Day disappointments.

I hope I am not the only one who has experienced what I am referencing. That feeling of emptiness after four advent weeks of expectation. The gifts are opened, the cookies are almost gone (unless you are at Grandma Carol's), and the needles are falling of the tree. Inevitably, I write a Christmas journal about the sadness I feel.

I don't mean a shallow sadness, it runs deep and almost aches.

It isn't the presents. I like giving them away. It isn't the cookies. I am allergic to them. It isn't the trees, they are evergreen all year long... just not inside my home.

It's the Light... it's Jesus.

Something about December, and the focus on the Savior always makes you feel closer to Him. It is easier to believe that Peace came to earth when we see His people at peace with each other.

I wish I was at the manger, stroking the head of the Savior of the world. My desire for a touch from God resurfaces in December... my Thomas heart leaps at the sight of Nativity scenes and Light, bright Light.

Do visible manifestations of God coming to earth make you feel His nearness, the God who is there?

I long to be near Jesus in December, and the 25th always reminds me of this frail body that still keeps me from eternal communion with Him... the One who came to redeem this mortal flesh.

Each passing day reminds me how desperately I need Jesus, and how much I want to serve Him until He calls me home.

Even if it makes me sad, I am eagerly expecting Christmas. Sometimes, sadness is good. It reminds us of the One who wipes away tears, and sent His Son so that all weeping may one day cease.